How to End a Mentoring Relationship

Mentee Exit Tips: Leaving the Formal Relationship

You are building your reputation in the profession with every contact you make. Your mentor could be a valuable connection and reference. Once you have accomplished your goal(s), communicate with your mentor that you are ready to end the relationship in a professional and courteous manner. It is in your best interest to maintain informal contact with your mentor as you build your contacts throughout your career. Here’s how:

• Express gratitude to the mentor for his or her time and contribution to your progress. Example: “You have taught me X,Y,Z. I am grateful for your guidance and support.”
• Tell your mentor what goals you have accomplished with their help.

Example: “Thanks to you, I feel more confident with presenting to a group. I really appreciate your insights and support.”

• Suggest maintaining contact on an informal level.

Example: Would you be willing to hear from me occasionally in the future?”

• Offer to contact your mentor periodically with updates. Then follow through!

Example: “I would love to support you in some way in the future. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if I can ever be of assistance.”

• Suggest a focus for the final session. You might like to celebrate all that has been accomplished and have a more informal session. You could also ask for suggestions for future goals.
• Write a personal thank you note and send it to your mentor within two days after your last session.

“Ghosting” (or the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication) has the potential to negatively impact future career prospects and could result in your removal from SLAS Mentor Match. Ghosting exhibits a lack of maturity and confidence. Always end a mentoring relationship professionally if you have gained what you set out to accomplished. 

Mentor Exit Tips: Ending the Formal Relationship

There is no set duration of a mentor/mentee relationship. SLAS simply recommends that it remains productive. Once your mentee achieves their goal(s) you will need to decide to continue your relationship or close this chapter of your relationship. Perhaps there’s a new goal for your mentee to work on. You may or may not be the right mentor for that goal and that’s OK. If you don’t think you’re the right match you can suggest that they find someone with different experience to help them.

It is important to recognize and praise your mentee’s improvement. Your encouragement will motivate more growth and action throughout the mentee’s career.

Acknowledge challenges and obstacles that the mentee faced during your time together. Your recognition of the mentee’s efforts will help the mentee to see his or her efficacy and capability in a new light.

You will want to end the mentoring relationship with a sense of purpose and direction for the future. We encourage you to use the last session to focus on future goals and life-long learning.

• Set expectations of your relationship moving forward.
• Acknowledge progress and growth in the mentee.
• Recognize the challenges your mentee has faced or overcame.
• Help your mentee set goals for the future.
• Ask your mentee to identify how he will accomplish his future goals.

If you’re willing and have the time, offer to be available to your mentor if he/she needs help in the future. No matter what, be honest. Don't promise if you aren't willing to deliver. 

Mentee Exit Tips: Leaving the Formal Relationship

You are building your reputation in the profession with every contact you make. Your mentor could be a valuable connection and reference. Once you have accomplished your goal(s), communicate with your mentor that you are ready to end the relationship in a professional and courteous manner. It is in your best interest to maintain informal contact with your mentor as you build your contacts throughout your career. Here’s how:

• Express gratitude to the mentor for his or her time and contribution to your progress. Example: “You have taught me X,Y,Z. I am grateful for your guidance and support.”
• Tell your mentor what goals you have accomplished with their help.

Example: “Thanks to you, I feel more confident with presenting to a group. I really appreciate your insights and support.”

• Suggest maintaining contact on an informal level.

Example: Would you be willing to hear from me occasionally in the future?”

• Offer to contact your mentor periodically with updates. Then follow through!

Example: “I would love to support you in some way in the future. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if I can ever be of assistance.”

• Suggest a focus for the final session. You might like to celebrate all that has been accomplished and have a more informal session. You could also ask for suggestions for future goals.
• Write a personal thank you note and send it to your mentor within two days after your last session.

“Ghosting” (or the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication) has the potential to negatively impact future career prospects and could result in your removal from SLAS Mentor Match. Ghosting exhibits a lack of maturity and confidence. Always end a mentoring relationship professionally if you have gained what you set out to accomplished.